LESSON CONTENT
Activity: This or that?
This activity is to help the students realise that we make so many choices every day, knowingly or unknowingly. The students will have to choose quickly between the two options given to them. They need to stand up if they choose the first option and sit down if they go for the second one. Continue this process till the end of the list. (Remind them that they cannot stay neutral. They cannot say none of the options or both the options!). Sample Questions:
Tea or Coffee?
Cat or dog?
Text or call?
Computer or Mobile?
Summer or winter?
Getting up early or staying up late?
Fruits or veggies?
Non-stop hiccups or non-stop sneezes?
Read it or watch it?
Always forget who you are or always forget who everyone else is?
Learn new language or new musical instrument?
Sing in public or dance in public?
Debrief: Our life is the sum total of the decisions we make. We make so many choices each day. In this activity, how did you choose? (let the students answer) Maybe you did what everybody else did or what your friend did.
This activity was about trivial matters. But think about the big decisions of life. How do we make a right choice? That’s what today’s talk is all about.
Lesson Point 1: The Influencers
Human beings are keen observers. We constantly learn from what happens around us. These observations in turn influence our choices - both the small ones and the big ones. Some of our influencers are people we see every day - parents, friends, teachers, relatives etc. We are also influenced greatly by what we see on screen - movies, advertisements, sports, cartoons, the internet etc.
Personality plays an important role in decision making. Our basic nature and life experiences are key factors. Introverts and extroverts make decisions differently. Some make quick decisions while others are slow in deciding. Some involve others in their decisions while others like to decide on their own. Think for a moment about how you make your decisions.
Our value system and worldview also influence our decisions. How we look at money, relationships, success, competition and time will determine how we choose. It is important to have the right perspective at an early age so that we make the right choices in life.
Many of our choices are actually made by others. We choose what everyone else chooses - the herd mentality. Their choice becomes ours. The way we dress, eat, talk, look and behave is often influenced by what is popular in our current culture. The real reason behind these choices is a need for acceptance from others and the fear of being left out among our friends.
Ultimately our choices need to be influenced by God. He is deeply interested in our decisions. He has an amazing plan for each of our lives. He desires that we make the right choices and will guide each of our steps towards that plan. But there is also someone else who is interested in our choices - the Devil. He desperately wants to confuse us and make us choose foolishly. He wants to disrupt God’s plans for us and to that end he will use all tactics possible. So we trust God and His Word, the Bible, while making our choices. The Bible assures us that:
We are created in God’s image. (Gen. 1:27)
God handcrafted us as His masterpiece. (Psa. 139)
We are precious in God’s eyes. (Matt. 6:26)
God passionately loves us. (John 3:16)
God is keenly interested in us. (Jer. 1:5)
God has great plans for us. (Jer. 29:11)
We are loved and valued by Him. (Jer. 31:3)
He knows our deepest longings and only He can fulfil them. (Matt. 11:28)
So be aware of all these conflicting voices that try to influence us - the people who are close our heroes on screen, our personality, our experiences, our belief systems and culture. Above all, may we be influenced by our Creator, the only one who knows our past, present and our future.
Video 1: How Commercials Get Us to Buy Crap We Don't Need
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urny4oFBbto
Lesson Point 2: Decisions have consequences
We can classify our decisions into three categories:
1. Trivial decisions: These form the majority of our daily choices. We make them all the time. From the time we get up till we go to sleep, we keep have to constantly choose. Here are some examples:
▪ Which dress am I going to wear today?
▪ How should I comb my hair today?
▪ How many rotis should I have for dinner?
2. Prudent decisions: These are decision which need to be taken carefully because they can impact our academics, our career, our resources, our future plans etc. Here are some examples:
▪ Should I choose commerce or science or humanities after class 10? ▪ Which bike should I buy?
▪ How much time should I spend online?
▪ How can I take care of my health?
▪ Should I take tuitions or study by myself?
3. Moral decisions: These decisions are the most important decisions we take. They are to do with our character and our sense of right and wrong. It shows who we really are on the inside. Here are some examples:
▪ Should I spread hateful news/gossip about someone on social media? ▪ Should I copy for the exam since I didn’t study well?
▪ How much time should I spent with parents?
▪ Who will I choose as my friend?
▪ Should I use that cuss word?
Our trivial decisions may not have big consequences, but the prudent and moral decisionsneed to be taken carefully. Some consequences are temporary while others last a lifetime. If we take the right decisions, the rewards are great but if we fail, we will have regrets.
What does the Bible say about consequences? Here are some principles:
○ Galatians 6:7 - Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, thatwill he also reap.
○ Proverbs 11:31 - If the righteous is repaid on earth, how much more the wicked andthe sinner!
○ 2 Corinthians 5:10 - For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so thateach one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good orevil.
○ Luke 15: In the Bible this story of a father and his two sons is a classic example. Theyounger boy decided to take his share of the property and leave to a distant city and enjoy his life. His decision seemed wise in his eyes but he forgot that it had serious consequences. Very soon his money ran out, his friends ditched him and he ended up tending pigs, longing to eat some good food. He finally decided to get back home to his father and family. Now that decision also had consequences! It was not bad like the previous one. He was accepted as a loving son, given new clothes and a party given on the occasion of his return.
Video 2: The Marshmallow Test
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX_oy9614HQ
Lesson Point 3: Make Choices WiselyLike Newton’s third law, every important decision has a consequence. We saw the influencers and the consequences. The question remains, how do I choose wisely? Here are some practical suggestions:
Keep God in the picture. God is keenly interested in our decisions and knows our future. He knows the consequences of our decisions too. It would be wise on our part to make decisions that pleases God. Before we choose, we must and ask this - “Does this honour God?”, “Is this His will for me?”, “Will he pleased with what I choose?” The great heroes of the Bible were convinced about this when they had to make important choices. God honoured their choices and they went on to accomplish great things for God. Some examples are:
○ Joseph - How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God? (Genesis 39:9)
○ Daniel - But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine (Daniel 1:8)
○ Peter - But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men. (Acts5:29)
One of the ways to make a wise decision is a technique called ICED. Each letter stands for a step in the process of decision making.
○ Identify the situation/problem: Think about the decision to be made and see if it is a trivial, prudent or moral decision.
○ Create alternatives: List out all the possible options that you have with you.
○ Evaluate each alternative: This is the most crucial step in the process.
▪ Go through all the options that you listed and think about the possible benefits andconsequences.
▪ Take your options and look at them through the lenses of the Bible. If it is a moraldecision, ask the question, “what would Jesus do? (WWJD)”, if it is a prudentdecision, ask “Does this option honour God or not?”
▪ If the matter is serious, you should take the help of your parents or someone matureenough to help you decide. Your friends may be confused as you are and might notbe of much help!
○ Decide on the best alternative: After eliminating all the options that would either harmyou and others and those that will dishonour God, pray and ask God to reveal His will. He will definitely lead you to a good choice!
Life Scenarios - Consider the following situations and make a decision using the ICED method.
○ Scenario#1: Mithun is a good student in 10th Standard. He is good in speaking and writing and was the class topper in English. He managed to get an average score in Science and Maths. He has a passion for journalism and so his parents suggested that he take the commerce stream so that he gets time for extracurricular activities. But all his friends are taking the science stream and Mithun doesn’t want to miss them. He wants follow his passion but he feels he will be lonely. What should he do?
Possible solution: Mithun has to take a prudent decision (I). He has two options - to join the science group with his friends or the commerce group and follow his passion and future dreams (C). While relationships are important, Mithun should now start thinking about his future. He can be in touch with his old friends but he can now make new ones too. In the process of doing commerce, he can find time to read up and write things related to his dream career. If God has put a desire in his heart to become a journalist, Mithun should work hard towards that goal and see it fulfilled (E). So Mithun should take up the commerce stream and follow his passion and make new friends (D).
○ Scenario#2: Sneha has been feeling depressed lately. Nothing seems to be going right in her life. She has lost her dad recently and she is always fighting with her mom. She does not like the way she looks, nor does she have any close friends to talk to. Her grades at school have been slipping of late and teachers are all shouting at her. Sneha is starting to think that killing herself might be the answer. What are Sneha’s options and what should she do?
Possible solution: The decision Sneha needs to take is not just an ethical/moral decision but a life and death one (I). The alternatives before her are - look at her present conditions and conclude that life is not worth living or trust in God and His plans for her and choose to live (C). Sneha’s present life may seem so dismal and pointless but she doesn't know her future. It could be bright and beautiful. Her relationships can always improve and so can her studies. God definitely has something beautiful in store for her than an untimely death(E). Sneha should immediately seek help from someone mature and make all efforts to choose to live. Ending life is not a solution for anything in life (D).
○ Scenario#3: Akash and Naresh were close friends. But after they had a fight during a football match, they have not talked to each other. Akash finally decided to bridge the gap and restore the lost relationship. But Naresh feels that Akash will betray his trust again and so refuses his offer of friendship. What should Akash do?
Possible solution: Akash has to take an ethical decision (I). The options he has in front of him are - to walk out of the relationship and pretend nothing has happened or continue his attempts to restore the friendship (C). If Akash chooses to walk away from Naresh, he will definitely get new friends and can move on in life, leaving the past behind. Restoring a broken relationship is difficult and it takes time, persistence, and humility. Even if Akash tries to bridge the gap, Naresh may ignore all his efforts, causing frustration and flare- ups. But God loves to restore and make things new again. He wants all of us to forgive each other and live in peace and love. If these two friends can bury their past, their friendship can soar new heights, after all they were best buddies. So despite the difficulty of the process, the end reward is great (E). Akash must not give up on Naresh. He must try his best to win back his trust and restore their broken relationship, even if it means that he has to wait for a long time (D).
Stay firm/work on the decision: Taking a wise decision is good but we need to consciously put in efforts to see that decision become a reality. Once a decision has been made, work hard to see it come true. Do not go back and continue in the same way as when you were undecided.
Take feedback: Sometimes, even our best efforts have results we didn't think could happen. This is why it is good to go back over our choices and make sure we made a good decision. It is part of the learning process. Even if everything went well, revisiting our choices allows us to learn why this was a good decision so we can apply the principles and ideas to our other decisions. Talk to someone senior and get their views and feedback, it helps!